is better really better or is better bad
i feel the anger
and the compulsion
and the pain is almost there
so I don’t feel okay anymore but I was okay so I don’t feel like being okay and I don’t feel like being bad and I don’t want to know wy
everyone must hate me
i know I do
why are you still lying to me
anyone want to die with me tonight?
christmas is the epitome of all I hate about this world
lies, greed, disapointment, forced happiness, expectations and shitty whiney songs
i don’t know if i can do it
am i stronger
i’ve gotten so fat, so out of control
i do not deserve this feeling of semi-contentment
i hate christmas
and this tree is just not quite right and getting it like it was took enough stress
and the top of the tree?
I would just like to take a small moment to appreciate how beautiful my kitties are.
If it wasn’t for my cats. i would have killed myself by now. just the fact that two small animals are relying on me for sustainace, the fact that they need me, the fact that they want me, has been enough to keep me going, even when I thought I had reached the end. so love them, like i have
I haven’t posted here for a while, but I’ve decided that i am going to keep this little blog going because I don’t have any other medium for depressed and private thoughts. I’ll continue on the whole “original posts only” theme. and this is my life
me right now
crappy camera quality I know
ur not fat. please dont…urself. ur beautiful. and ur skinny. u have anorexia
thanks for that pleasant little reminder. And for your information I am not beautiful, or skinny, and nor do I have anorexia. Can you leave me alone to die? please, thank you, bye. PS. U is a letter, not a word. Ur is hardly slower than typing out your, and it makes you look less like a two year old.
I don’t want to have to do this, but the fear of staying as fat as I am is enough to persuade me. It’s always enough.